I am a mother of B. This single role affects all the other roles I have ever been and ever will be. I started to do things I have never done before, e. g. creating household rules, walking and working quietly as a ninja, singing songs about everything (our dinner, poop in the toilet…). I used to think I am flexible and my time management skill are great, oh, how little did I know about mothers’ time management skills. Becoming a mother also set off my mental health issues. On the other hand, I started to say “I love you” several times a day. I go outside for walks almost every day again. I started to learn about subjects and fields I have never dreamed of (balcony gardening, space). My son B. shows me what I need to work on as a person.
I am a significant other of M. This is probably a role which used to be pushed aside very often after B. was born. It became a matter of fact that the other person is here doing things he/she does. However, it is the most extraordinary thing to have a person by your side who tries to support you, cares for you, shares his visions, ideas and plans with you. Relationship like this MUST be cherished, so I created a weekly schedule for us to have mutual time. What we do is simple, always happening at home (as B. is sleeping at that time) – talking about work, about what happened during the day, what is happening with us long-term, watching movies, playing board games, reading books side by side…
I am a teacher. In my pre-teen years I wanted to become a teacher. My younger sister and I used to pretend play we have a school – usually I was a teacher, she was a pupil. I also taught my dolls. Many years later I became an English language tutor and later an English teacher for children. I earned my second bachelor degree in teaching of fine arts and English language. Then I started to teach in an English kindergarten inspired by Montessori method. I looked up inspirations for activities and fun approaches to teaching, created activities myself or with children. I also completed several Montessori method courses. After all this preparation and practice I thought raising my own child will be easy for me. B. proved me wrong and showed me that I need to work much harder.
I am a costumer, a seamstress and an embroiderer. Firstly I made very plain embroidered pictures using chain stitch, secondly I sewed clothes for my dolls. I liked dresses in a 1954 movie Victoria in Dover, so I started to make dresses with huge skirts for my Barbie doll. This inspired me to study costume design at a secondary school. Skills and knowledge I gained I use seldom in creating historical costumes, often sewing new or upcycled clothes and accessories and almost daily in fixing clothes.
I am an ethnologist. After my costume design secondary school studies I decided for ethnology university studies and earned a master degree in ethnology. Although it was not what I expected I found what interested me – gender studies. During this period I shaped my opinions about equality, respect, acceptance, etc.
I am a psychotherapist. After giving birth I did not find anyone who would help me with my mental health issues. I refused just to survive (this point was questionable for several times), I wanted to thrive; therefore I needed to become a psychotherapist for myself. I study books, look for possibilities how to improve my life and apply this information in practice. And comparing my life now and few years ago – I am a damn good psychotherapist.
I am a reader. Since childhood I love reading books. Although my interests in genres has been changing over times, reading is one of my favorite leisure activities. Currently I read books about raising children, psychology books, history of clothing books and historical novels.
I am a dancer. As a five-year-old I used to attend ballroom dance classes. After two years I happened to not have a dance partner again, so I continued dancing at home. At that time I wanted to become a dancer when I grow up. I danced to pop, latin or even classical music. As a fifteen-year-old I used to attend modern dance classes for few months; however, the dance teacher was focused to “create” group of dancers to compete in competitions. She was killing all my joy of movement. I quit. In my early twenties I came across zumba which I practiced for few years until my life situation changed. Few years later I attended belly dance classes. Back then I said: “This is an exercise suitable for me!” I not just enjoyed dancing, but it relaxed and stretched muscles that needed it. I come back to belly dance through YouTube videos. I also sometimes practice yoga and hormone yoga.
I am a housekeeper. As a stay-at-home mom on paternity leave I do majority of housekeeping tasks. I enjoy chores I used to hate: cleaning the bathroom – it was a lot of work and it took for ages (for about 40 minutes); cleaning the kitchen – it also seemed to take ages – now I do intense clean up daily (sometimes several times). I am really happy M. is such an excellent cook because cooking is not my cup of tea. As I am into sweet stuff I like baking cakes and pies. And perhaps for my costuming background I like doing laundry.
I am a blogger. This is a new one, inspired by everything what happened to me and us after B.’s birth. I will see how it goes.